Telephone Talk

I really miss Evan now that I've been in Colorado for a week. My roommate has been great about watching Evan and his daycare provider has been very accommodating - taking Evan for 4 afternoons in addition to his regular morning schedule.

My roommate let Evan talk to me on the phone. Normally this is nothing more than hearing him breathe. Today, something clicked. I tried to use some of Evan's new words and he started saying "down" to the dog after I asked him to. I then told him "bye bye" and he waved, as my roommate reported. This was a huge step in my mind and it went a long way to making me feel better about being so far away.

I hope to return to LA on Monday.

Grandma

On Wednesday morning, Evan lost his Grandma and I lost my mother. It's been a rough week.

I've been coming out to Colorado on and off all Spring to help my mother manage through a losing battle with metastatic lung cancer, diagnosed at age 70 in May 2006 (over a year ago). The worst part is that my mother has not smoked for 40 years.

This disease has no cure and life expectancies are very short - usually 4-6 months from diagnosis, if that. I did not expect to complete my adoption in time for my mother to become a grandmother, actually, and certainly did not expect to bring Evan for a visit as I did in May (pictures in my earlier post). Had I let my mother's diagnosis deter me from adopting so soon, my mother and I would not have had these experiences nor met the wonderful son I have.

About 2 weeks ago, I came out to help my mother move into an intensive care center operated by the Denver Hospice (I am indebted to them for their efforts in letting my mother pass away with great dignity). Her pain was out of control and needed some attention. I was able to get her settled in time to return home to LA. Things proceeded very quickly from there. It seems that once my mother's pain was being effecitvely managed, she began to let go quickly.

I returned to Denver last Saturday and was able to spend her last few days with her, in the company of my sister and aunt, who also flew in. I had seriously considered bringing Evan on this trip, to provide life and support as only children can. In retrospect am glad to have left him in good hands in LA as there has been so much to do here.

The last I saw my mother alive was Tuesday night. We left her resting peacefully in her beautiful private room, with the door open to the warm windy Colorado night. On the bulletin board was a picture Evan had drawn and dedicated to his Grandma. On the night stand were pictures of her children and grandchild. Under my mother's arm was her large teddy bear ("Alex"), which she asked to be given to Evan upon her passing.

This and That

The demands of parenthood and work are keeping me from blogging much at the moment.

Evan had a doctor's appointment last week and checked out fine. He gained a bit of weight and 1 1/2 inches, so he seems to be doing well. However, he has been fighting nagging on-and-off tummy troubles for a few weeks and so I have been varying his diet to see what the trigger is. Lactose is one possible culprit... The doctor does not seem to be alarmed, which is reassuring.

Evan is getting very close to talking. He has used "da da" fairly reliably for some time and he emits "bark" when he hears a dog bark. Just the other day, he seems to have figured out "down" and "up" as well as what seems to be "mine", which he sometimes says when he grabs things. Doctor says 6 words by 18 months is what he looks for, so Evan had better hurry up. Not that I feel any pressure. Really.

Evan also went through a brief period of stamping his foot like a princess when he wanted something. I cannot imagine where he got that...

Robin Hood?

First, Evan loved the Hamburger Helper.

Second, I have a new job. The stars aligned and I was offered a new position in IBM that I had interviewed for. The situation is ideal: challenging from a career standpoint yet almost entirely work from home. I'm digging in and excited about working with my new team.

Finally, about Robin Hood. Yesterday, at daycare, Kaya (Evan's girlfriend) was taking Justin's pacifier out of his mouth and using it. Observing the scene, Evan took went up to Shelby and took Shelby's pacifier out of his mouth and offered it to Justin. I'm not sure it was exactly justice but it was a valiant attempt. In case you're wondering, Evan does not use a pacifier himself.

Also the other day, I tried again to get Evan interested in his food. So I let him feed me. Funniest thing of all was that he opened his mouth every time I took a bite - just as most parents do when feeding their kids.

This and That

It's been a while since I posted since I've been a bit focused on sorting out my work situation. Let's just say I'm under a lot of pressure at my company to get myself into a work-from-home role since my previous job of traveling consultant is just not compatible. Stay tuned for updates on this front...

So Evan did a couple of cute things yesterday.

First, at breakfast, he showed little interest in the nice bowl of oatmeal I had prepared for him. He kept pointing to the place where the graham crackers are. As I was having oatmeal too, I decided to play up how very good it was - with lots of emphatic "mmmmmmmm"s. Evan eventually concluded that it must be good and proceeded to eat his entire bowl with loud and dramatic "mmmmmmm"s at every bite.

Later, I wanted to take him to the playground (and Home Depot of course). I looked around and could not find his shoes, a fact I muttered out loud. Then, from around the sofa comes Evan triumphantly holding one of the shoes I was looking for. I put it on him and asked him to find the other one. Evan stood in the living room and slowly pivoted on one foot clearly searching for his other shoe. It's amazing what kids already understand at this age.

Today was a watershed moment.... Those of you who know me know that I love to cook and pride myself in making things from scratch. However, the need for convenience has won out: I bought a box of Hamburger Helper.

Denver

We spent 3 days in Denver visiting Grandma and Jackson, a friend Evan made in Vietnam. I hit it off with Jackson's parents, whom I had met in Saigon in December. Adorable Jackson is about 6 months younger than Evan but he holds his own when they interact. We all went out for Vietnamese food one night. Here is (left to right) Jackson's mom, Laurie, Jackson, Evan, and myself:

Laurie maintains an awesome blog that puts mine to shame. Check out her blog post on the adventures of Evan and Jackson in Denver.

Evan's big acquisition in Denver was a pair of "crocs", which are plastic shoes that sell for something like 100 times their production cost but are nevertheless a rage among kids (especially in "granola" states like Colorado). These were a gift from Grandma, and Evan was so cute in the shoe store marching up to the mirror and excitedly evaluating the color of croc he was trying on. He settled on green. Here is a picture of Evan and Grandma on Grandma's balcony:

For the trip home, I did my best to prepare Evan to sleep on the plane home. He got a good nap so as to not be overtired, he got some play time in, and he had a good meal and big cup of milk. My best plans did not play out, though, as the excitement of the trip caught up with him and he squirmed the entire flight - struggling to fall asleep. Thankfully, the adjacent seat was empty and the surrounding passengers friendly. Evan fell asleep within seconds of getting into his car seat on the ride home.

The Fifth Flight

Yesterday was Evan's fifth flight of his life (and first domestic). I carefully booked a big plane on a less busy day but it was still 100% full. When we boarded, I eyed the person in the seat in front of me and I just knew, from his Bose noise cancelling headphones and designer sunglasses that he was a recliner. Sure enough, his seat went all the way back the moment the wheels came up. This did not give Evan and me much space since 1) the guy in front of me was in my lap and 2) Evan was in my lap and he has big belly. To make things worse, my neighbor was beefy, so things were tight.

In all, the flight was just fine. Evan ate through all the snacks I brought, read his books, played with his toys, and played with me. It turned out to be a great one-on-one bonding experience. Evan was laughing out loud at one game we played and I was just waiting for somebody to complain about Evan being too happy. My neighboring passengers were quite friendly and patient with Evan's offers of cantaloupe.

I tagged all my bags and Evan to make sure nothing would get misplaced: